Can you be Bertie?

Can you hack all the paps?
Can you take the flack for Mary Harney's fuck ups?
Will you back Mary Hanafins shite educational decisions and knowledge?
Can you put up with Brian Cowen's cologne next to you?

If you answer yes to this then apply for the job:

Check it out.

Are you in the wrong career?

Have you ever thought you were in the wrong career? Ever sat down and said "Fuck, what am I doing with my life?" and consider handing in your resignation to the boss? Ever take the time to see what you SHOULD be doing?

I do. All the time. I'm convinced I'm in the wrong industry but the problem is that what I should be doing, there aint really a market for it - or rather its taken up by one man..."Weird Al" Yankovic.

Yes. I have a knack of hearing a song a few times and then creating hilarious new words for said song. I usually test this out on my wife who is not only amused by my lyrics but also taken aback by the content. Which is usually very crude and MTV could only put on after South Park. I never write down these lyrics as I listen to the radio when in the shower, driving or doing something for which I cant be arsed to run and get paper to jot them down.

I can't give you a specific example of my now legendary side-splitting songs, but if this blog ever stops and you see a new parody artist in the charts you will know what happened. In the meantime I better keep on getting money for bills. And thinking of what I should be doing.

New Job

While at lunch yesterday I decided that I needed to change job and career. "But to what" was the question I kept getting. So I asked a colleague would she care to join me in business.

"Yes, anything else please" was the reply.

"OK, what will we do?"

"I dunno, anything" came the answer.

Next thing we knew we needed a business quick sharp as I had recruited two staff members (against this will, but they had no choice) and no means for paying them. Forget about the fact that the business didn't exist and we didn't even know what we were going to do.

We decided on a curry house as we loves our curries and most people like a good curry nosh.

Next it was a location and that was decided without the owners permission (they will agree though).

Finally the name. Now, getting a name for a business is a tricky affair. It has to be good, catchy and get the publics imagination. I mean, you couldn't call a pub 'Bad Beer' and expect much custom could you? Or would you eat in a Chinese called "Mr. Choo's Kitty Palace"? See, its so important. We agreed on a name. And then the pièce de résistance. We got someone to go around the pubs at night selling takeaways - genius !

So here is the name. Will you come and eat here?